Tired of the mask

Jan 30th, 2010:

First of all, I haven’t posted for a while, so to make a long story short – fell inlove with a girl, she fell inlove as well. She moved to Italy to start med school, while I stay in Israel where my life is, and life sucks.

And so it went on and off, long distance doesn’t work as we all know, even tho she comes here for long vacations each time – It’s all over with. So it seems…

Spent a large part of the last 4 months on making my game better.

Anyhow…

I’ve been with lots of girls lately.. my level at this game is moving up fast.. and every time I feel the same feeling. I get it after wild sex, after hot dates, after a girl falls inlove with me and want me like a mad woman. I got it last night, while a 22 year old with the most beautiful most sexy body I’ve touched was sleeping in a Victoria’s secret lingerie besides me:

I am tired of being this person, I am tired of this game, I am tired of the fact I can get women… I am tired of my alter ego, tired of being “The Mask”… I just want to be me and let the girl like me for who I am… I want to be “real”. Be my self.

So some times I play a game with my self, I let the mask down, I become me… I say what ever I want when ever I want and I am direct about it- it doesn’t work. I work in marketing, letting go of the game is like selling Ford with this slogan: “It’s a good car for that price, buy it” … It just doesn’t work.

now that the mask works, now that I can really get 3-4 dates a week, now that I can get laid when ever I want… I guess the only way is to work on the man behind the mask, become the alter ego – and let the needy chode die in peace.

Inner game, here I come.

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